Are You Still My Luke Danes?
by Bigbagofweird2
Summary: A season 7 apology that never really happened on the show. What happens when Lorelai and Luke finally hash out all those season 6 and 7 mistakes?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hello? Anyone out there still reading GG fics?

So, I started writing Gilmore Girls fanfiction in 2008. I had several stories posted on a GG fanfic site called Black & White & Read. Unfortunately, BWR is no longer, and I lost most of my fics (My beta, Jewels, saved me! She's wonderful!). It's all written except for the last chapter. I thought posting here would motivate me to finally finish it. My awesome beta, Jewels, and my beloved Mags have bugged me for years for that last chapter. As you wish…

Many thanks to Jewels for all her amazing beta-ing skills over the years!

Xxxxxx

Lorelai stood outside of Patty's studio, studying the collage of Rory and Lane pictures that captured their friendship over the years. She sighed softly as she thought about how fast time had gone. One minute she was holding a newborn Rory in her arms at sixteen, and the next moment she would be watching her baby graduate from Yale at thirty-something, alone again. That happily-ever-after ending eluded her still. She fought to find it, but didn't fight hard enough to keep _the one_ that would give it to her.

"Seems like yesterday she was taking up three tables at the diner with those giant books of hers."

Lorelai turned around to face the speaker. "Mhmm." Standing before her in all his flannel and denim clad glory was _the one_. The only one that she ever saw a future with.

"Yep. She was something. _Is_ something," Luke said with genuine affection.

Lorelai flashed a small grin at Luke, turning around briefly to glance at the pictures again before looking back his way. As the awkwardness of the situation swamped them, her mind raced trying to find an appropriate subject to talk about. Kirk's face came into view somewhere in the dark recesses of her brain. Kirk. Boat. Kirk buying Luke's boat.

"So, uh, what's this I hear about Kirk buying your boat?"

"Oh, well... I just realized I was never gonna take that thing out. I mean, all that time I spent trying to fix it up... so I bought a new one."

"Wha, ah, when?" Lorelai asked, confusion clouding her mind.

"Today - got the idea in my head a couple hours ago, went down to the shipyard in Bridgeport, and just did it."

"You just bought a boat," she stated incredulously.

"Yeah, yeah, and it's even bigger and better than the old one. I mean, it's got everything. It's got a little kitchen, a bathroom, even a place to sleep."

"Wow."

"I'm just gonna keep it in the marina, you know, and then when April comes to visit in the summer, you know, I'll take it out on little trips, you know, go away for a few weeks." He stuttered through the explanation.

"Luke, that sounds really nice." Her words came out more sincere than she felt.

"Right?"

"God, I can't believe you bought a boat in a day. It used to take you a week to buy a t-shirt." _It took you years to ask me out._

"Yeah, well, things change."

They studied each other for a few moments, trying to read the other's thoughts. Neither one was sure of where they stood with the other. There were so many words left unsaid, so many things not made right.

"I'll see you inside?" Luke asked, breaking the mounting tension.

"Mm-hmm."

_Things change. Things change? What the heck does that mean?_ His words triggered a rapid fire of questions in her mind. But one question stood out in big bold letters. She needed to know. Now. Before she could think about the consequences of asking this question, the words were flowing freely from her mouth. "You didn't love me enough to change things for me?" She blurted just loud enough for him to hear.

Luke paused in his ascent up the stairs and slowly turned around to face Lorelai. His jaw was clenched tight, his hands balled into fists and his eyes were ablaze with long-suppressed anger. In two steps he was back in front of Lorelai, clutching her shoulders in his hands.

"Never, ever, question how much I loved you," he stated with force. "If anything, I'm the one that should question your love for me. Did you even love me a little bit, Lorelai? Or was I just a stand in until someone better came along?"

Lorelai's head reared back as if slapped. "Luke."

Luke dropped his grip on her shoulders. "No, you know what? This isn't the time or the place to talk about this. I'm going inside." With those parting words, he went back into Patty's and left her standing and staring at the empty spot he had just occupied.

After several seconds, Lorelai felt her lungs fill with air again. Defeated, she walked up the steps with her shoulders hunched, tugging her jacket tightly around her body to ward off the frost that permeated her being from Luke's words.

Lorelai trudged over to a corner of the room, observing the festivities, the celebration of life and love. Swallowing the lump that collected in her throat, she tried to force the tears back as she attempted to stomp down the regrets rising in her heart. Regret over things said and things not said. Regret for losing herself and the only man she really, truly loved. So many regrets.

Paramount on the regret scale was sleeping with Christopher. She knew in her heart that going to him would not end well for anyone, but her state of mind was not stable. She allowed him to weaken her already low resistance, and he took advantage of the situation. The consequences of that action were still sending shockwaves throughout her life. Because sleeping with him wasn't enough of a mistake; she had to go and marry him on top of that.

Lorelai watched as Luke greeted Rory, Lane and Zach, thumping Zach on the back and offering an awkward hug to each of the girls. Luke's smile was bright, but she could see a fire smoldering in his eyes from their encounter. His body was still tense from the anger, yet he willingly chatted with the girls and seemed in no hurry to leave. She found it ironic that she could read him now when there was barely a friendship between them, but she couldn't read him those last few months they were together. He closed himself off to her, and in turn, she did the same thing to him.

She regretted not sitting Luke down and talking about how unhappy she was, how much it hurt that he was shutting her out of his life. They could have talked out their problems and avoided the ultimatum altogether. Although, the few times she attempted to discuss things with him, he was either defensive, or too quick to appease her, never really listening to her. Nothing ever changed. She still walked around hurt and confused, void of the security she always felt in their relationship.

So, with every passing day, Lorelai became a shell of her former self. The once independent and energetic woman changed into a weak and listless pod. She clammed up tighter and avoided Luke until that one fateful night she stood before him like a raving lunatic. She should have never issued that ultimatum. She knew in her heart that Luke would not respond well. And he didn't. He stood there, staring at her as if she had lost her mind and allowed her to walk away, crushed and depleted of all hope.

With the accumulation of many bad choices on both of their parts, the friendship that was shared over the years, disappeared. All the love and laughter that filled their lives, vanished like a puff of smoke. The destruction of their relationship was swift and powerful; neither were aware of the tidal wave on their heels that swept them away from each other.

Lorelai's attention snapped from her internal musings to a scene across the room. She saw Patty ask Kirk something, and he pointed in her direction. Patty began weaving herself through the throng, making her way to Lorelai's hiding place.

_I have to get back in there_, she thought. _I need to pretend like everything is okay. I can do this. I'm a master at pretending. I've been doing it for over a year now._ She took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. With the tips of her index fingers, she swiped at the wetness that collected under her eyes. Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out a lip gloss and quickly applied it to her lips, rubbing them together and dropping the tube back into her pocket. She plastered a smile on her face that didn't quite reach her eyes, and moved out into the crowd, keeping Luke in her sights.

Xxxxxx

Once the final townie had departed, the after party clean up began in earnest. Trash was picked up from every nook and cranny in the studio. Gifts were collected and neatly piled by the door, ready to be carried to the Jeep. Crumbs were swept into small piles and decorations were removed from the walls.

"All in all, I think that was a very successful baby shower. Lane and Zach had a great time, despite the bed rest. And even Luke came out. But I'm exhausted," Rory said, slumping against the wall.

"Yeah, it was a great night. I think the highlight of the night was the onesie Kirk made," Lorelai said, giggling as the image formed in her mind. "I take it back. There are some things that don't even look cute on a onesie."

"Kirk needs help. Why on earth would he advertise for babysitting services on the back of a onesie? Not to mention the picture of his face on the front. I certainly wouldn't want to put Kirk's face on my kid."

"I want to know where he got a stencil of himself," Lorelai said as she grabbed a couple of garbage sacks. She looked around at the clean room, making sure that all the clean up was finished and all the gifts were ready to go. "Why don't you start loading the gifts, and I'll start taking garbage bags to the dumpster over at Doose's."

"Okay, but why Doose's?"

"It will make Taylor mad when he finds his dumpster full. And I live to make the blood vessels along his neck pop out."

"You are a sick, sick woman, and I gotta tell you, I love it," Rory said, picking up a stack of gifts. "Man, look at this loot."

"Yeah, they made out like bandits. I'm happy for them. I'll see you in a few," Lorelai said, walking down the steps.

Struggling with her load, Lorelai walked across the street toward the diner, and peered into the window. Luke was standing at the counter, looking over his receipts. He must have felt her eyes on him, because his head jerked up, meeting her eyes. She spun her head away from his gaze, quickening her pace when she heard the clang of the bells. Her escape wasn't quick enough. She heard the thump of his work boots on the sidewalk as he swiftly caught up with her, and removed the sacks from her hands. She scoffed in outrage at his sneaky maneuver. Luke held the bags at his sides and started walking around her.

"You need to ask for help sometimes, Lorelai. You can't do everything yourself. These are heavy."

"I didn't want to bug anyone." _Especially not you_, she thought. She turned and fell into step behind him.

"I can take care of this. I'm sure you have other things to do."

Lorelai stopped walking, and asked softly, "How could I not question your love for me, Luke? Your actions were telling me a different story."

"Lorelai," he growled, pausing in his steps. "Do we have to talk about this now?"

"If we don't talk about this now, then when are we going to talk about it? Things need to be said. This talk is long overdue. Please, Luke," Lorelai implored. She stared at his tense back, waiting for his response, scared of his response.

He sighed in defeat. "Let me get these bags to the dumpster, and I'll help you with whatever else needs to be done. Then we can go to the diner, and I'll pour you a cup of coffee, and we'll talk."

"No, no diner," she said, emphatically shaking her head. "We can sit out on a bench and talk. It would be better that way."

Before Luke could question her refusal to go to the diner, Lorelai turned around and started her journey back to the studio. She glanced back over her shoulder and saw Luke shake his head, continuing on his way to Doose's.

_Oh, boy. What am I doing? _


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thank you to all who have read and for those who have reviewed! I am a horrible reviewer, so I understand the lack of reviews, but as an amateur writer, we crave the feedback. I have three more chapters after this written, and I'll post chapter 3 in another couple of days. It needs some tweeking. I'm going to work on the final chapter as well. Thanks! :)

Many, many thanks to, Jewels, my beta extraordinaire! She makes everything better!

xxxxxx

Luke was more baffled by Lorelai's refusal to go into the diner than he was bothered by her need to have this talk tonight. And the last thing he wanted to do was talk. He had already resolved much of his pain and anger over things that happened, so he had no desire to drum up all those feelings again. Although, he realized that by the way he reacted to her questioning his love, he obviously had some unresolved feelings still.

Luke deposited the trash bags into Doose's dumpster and chuckled to himself. He never questioned where she was heading with the garbage. It was such a Lorelai thing to try to get a rise out of Taylor. At least they still had that in common.

With a sigh, Luke strolled back to Patty's studio, dreading the upcoming discussion. He reached the steps just as Lorelai was coming out.

"Hey, Rory just left with the Jeep to take the load of gifts over to Lane and Zach's. Shall we head over to the gazebo for that chat?" Lorelai asked, shuffling her feet and adjusting her coat.

Luke looked around town, and from his vantage point, there were very few people left loitering the square. But he really didn't feel comfortable sitting in the middle of the town in case one of the gossip queens meandered across their path. This was going to be a hard enough talk without having any of it broadcast across town.

"Uh, are you sure sitting in the gazebo is the best idea? What if someone overhears something?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right. How about on the meltdown bench?"

"Meltdown bench?"

"Yeah, the bench where I blubbered all over you and admitted that I needed money for the Dragonfly."

"Oh, uh, sure. That works," he said, still unsure of exactly where she was talking about, but fondly recalling the first time he really held her in his arms.

Luke followed Lorelai to the bench. Once he sat down, she jumped up and started pacing. He watched her walk back and forth in front of him for several minutes, before clearing his throat and saying, "You wanted to talk, so talk."

She stopped mid-pace and glanced at him. "You think this is easy for me? I know I'm the queen of gab, but this is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I have to stand here and admit to you how stupid I was; how every day I realize just how much I screwed up. I'm living the consequences for sleeping with Christopher." Luke noticeably flinched at the mention of Christopher's name. "And then there is your part in it all. I wasn't the only one to make the mistakes, Luke. There were two of us in that relationship, and neither one of us made the best choices."

Silently Luke sat there, staring at the ground, listening to every word she was saying. And as much as he wanted to blame Lorelai for everything that went wrong, he knew he couldn't. He had to shoulder at least half of the blame, maybe more.

"You're right," he finally said.

"Right? Right about what?"

"You're right that I made mistakes. Many mistakes," he said, glancing up at her. "I've had months to relive each and every one of them and think of what I could have done differently."

"You hurt me, Luke. More than anyone ever has."

"I just didn't see it," he murmured.

"I don't understand how you couldn't have seen it. You used to be able to read me better than anyone else. Better than even Rory. But for months, you couldn't tell how unhappy I really was? How I wasn't myself? How disappointed I was that the wedding was cancelled… I mean, _postponed_. Oh, yeah, that's right. You were too busy pushing me away to even see it," she accused him heatedly.

"Lorelai, be fair. I had a lot going on. You know that I can't handle things coming at me from every angle. I wasn't trying to push you away. I needed to create a relationship with my daughter. And I'm sorry that I didn't include you in that. I'm so sorry, Lorelai," he said earnestly, finally lifting his head and meeting her eyes.

Lorelai stared into his eyes, seeking out the truth of his words. His sincerity eased the anger in her heart. She loudly sighed and walked over to the bench, sitting down next to him. "I know... I know you're sorry, Luke. And I tried to give you the time you needed like you gave me when Rory was gone. But I couldn't be you, Luke. I lost a big part of me when I decided to shut my mouth."

"Yeah, I know," he said, nodding his head in acknowledgment. "But you have to understand why I acted the way I did. On one side, I had a kid that I didn't know about. And I had her mom telling me that I didn't even deserve to know about her. On the other side, I had you wanting to get married and have kids with me. I felt like I had to prove something to you. I needed to show you that I could be a good father to our children some day. I felt pressure from all sides, and I couldn't make everyone happy. So, I guess, I got tunnel vision. All I could see was April, and I lost sight of you."

Luke placed his elbows on his knees, folding his hands in front of him and dropping his head down, waiting for her to speak. When he heard her clear her throat, he finally lifted his head.

"I get it, Luke. I really do. And I know that I have my fair share of apologies to make," she said, pausing and taking a deep breath. She turned towards him on the bench. Locking eyes with him, she continued, "I can't tell you how sorry I am for going to Chris that night. I was a mess." He noticed the tears collecting in her eyes.

"I know you weren't yourself. I didn't recognize the woman who was standing in front of me. I can't believe I did that to you."

"I wasn't thinking straight, but that isn't really a good excuse. I have so many regrets about that night. So many. And in my defense, when you let me walk away, I thought we were over."

"I didn't see it that way."

"Yeah, I knew that when you showed up to my house with the truck packed with junk," she said with a small chuckle. "So, I knew I had to tell you that I slept with Chris in order for you to _know_ that it was over. I knew that with that confession, you would never want to look at me again. I'm so sorry for that, Luke. So sorry." Tears rolled down her cheeks and she looked away, swiping at them with her sleeve.

"I know, Lorelai."

"So, after our confrontation on the street and in the supermarket, I knew I had to attempt to go on with my life. And there was a man there that wanted me, that was willing to let me be a part of his kid's life. It was yet another epic failure. I'm sorry that you found out the way you did. I didn't marry Chris to hurt you, Luke. I married him because I really thought it was my last chance at any kind of happiness. I mean, no one was ever going to replace you in my heart, because I never really loved another man before, or since you. But I knew you would never forgive me for going to Chris. I knew we were over, and so, I jumped into a marriage with a man that I didn't really love." With those words, she began to sob, repeating how sorry she was over and over again.

"It's okay. It's all okay," he said soothingly, trying to comfort her from afar with words. He hated seeing her cry, but he was afraid to touch her. Afraid that one touch would lead to another, but aching to pull her into his arms as he had the last time she had wept on this very bench.

He heard the rumble of the Jeep's engine before he saw it. He knew Rory was back to claim her mom and take her home, so he stood up. "Rory's here."

She followed suit and began to walk towards Patty's.

"Hey, Lorelai." She stopped and turned back to him. "I can understand the marriage thing. I made the same mistake once," he said with a sad smile.

She nodded her head. "Thanks, Luke," she whispered, walking away.

xxxxxx

Lorelai paused in her reverie, gazing at the town square from a distance. She watched all the townspeople setting up for the festival. A pang of jealousy ripped through her. She used to be so involved with the goings on of the town. Festivals used to be one of her favorite enjoyments, one of the highlights of living in this small town. She and Rory delighted in every crazy thing the town did; every silly festival was a thrill. But when Christopher became the man in her life, she slowly distanced herself from the town. She didn't have the heart to face the people that were pulling for her relationship with another man, and she couldn't chance seeing that _other man_ again. She wasn't even sure that she wanted to be a part of _this_ festival. Sure, she needed to be for the sake of the inn, and she and Luke had talked things out. Despite those things, she just wasn't interested in a hay bale maze. _Crazy Taylor and his nutty schemes, _she thought.

Besides, her heart couldn't take seeing Luke there with April. What was left of her heart, anyway. It was shattered and broken into so many pieces that it would take a miracle to put them all back together. And even then, and she wasn't sure that it was worth fixing. She was afraid that this whole fiasco had caused irreparable damage. She thought that the apologies would be enough to help, but they just reopened wounds. She was more miserable than ever now, because she yearned for what she couldn't have. Plus, she never truly mourned their relationship before, and now it was all hitting her like a ton of bricks.

Her heart would always be on guard, never able to fully give itself to another again. She tried that and failed. The love she felt for Luke would not simply disappear. It was lingering, always present. Even through everything that had happened, she still loved him so much she ached. The ache was so tangible that she felt like she could touch it, hold it, everything except remove it from her body.

Shaking her head as she attempted to shed all of her depressing thoughts from her mind, she began to walk back to the inn. The inn was her refuge, a safe haven from her thoughts. As long as she threw herself into the one place she considered safe, she was able to keep her thoughts at bay. Working the long hours gave her little energy to do anything else but sleep and eat. She was good with her new system. She was protected from the pain, at least until she went home to the emptiness. Although, Rory was coming home for the festival, so she wouldn't be alone. Rory _and_ Logan. Logan wasn't on her favorite people list at the moment.

As soon as she stepped foot through the Dragonfly's door, she heard the whiney voice behind the front desk.

"Good, you're back. Finally," Michel muttered.

"Glad to see you too, Michel."

"Sookie babbled something about needing you in the kitchen when you returned."

"What does she need?"

"I wasn't really listening. I suggest you go and find out for yourself," he said dismissively.

"Wow. You're a fountain of information," she replied sarcastically, rolling her eyes and turning toward the kitchen.

She watched all the food preparation activity from the door. Most days, she enjoyed the hustle and bustle of the kitchen, but today, she wanted to just lock herself in the office to work on the mounds of paperwork stacked on her desk. She also wanted to avoid her dear friend looking at her with concern and sympathy.

She moved next to Sookie. "Hey. The lazy concierge in the lobby said you needed me?"

Sookie halted her carrot chopping to look over at her friend. "Hey, hon. I just had a proposition for you," she said, waggling her eyebrows.

"Oh, you want to proposition me? Well, I am cheap and easy, but you already knew that," Lorelai said with a wink, as she rested her hip against the counter. "So, lay it on me."

Sookie giggled. "You know that the festival is tomorrow, right?" Lorelai nodded her head. "Jackson and I were hoping that you would go with us," Sookie said quickly, biting her lip, waiting for a response.

"Sook," Lorelai began sadly. "I... I don't know if I'm ready."

Sookie grabbed Lorelai's hand, dragging her into the pantry. "I know you don't think you're ready, but you just need to get out there and rejoin the land of the living."

Lorelai stood up straight, bristling at Sookie's words. "What do you mean 'rejoin the land of the living'? I'm here aren't I? I'm around _living_ people."

"You know what I mean, Lorelai. You think that working yourself to death is the answer, but you need to take a break."

"I can't go to the festival. What if..."

"What if Luke is there? That _is_ a possibility. But how are you going to heal if you keep avoiding him? At some point you're going to run into him. Well, you already have, and it didn't go so badly, right?"

Lorelai breathed out a defeated sigh. "I know, you're right. I'll think about it, okay?"

"Sure, hon. Just let me know."

xxxxxxx

Luke picked up the bag of fries and the scrap of paper Zach left on the counter that had the directions to get through the hay bale maze. He hurried out the door, practically running into the customers coming in. He mumbled an apology before making his way to the insane wall of hay.

Reading Zach's barely legible directions on the paper, Luke was able to locate a way into the maze. He turned right, left, right and then came to a dead end. As he stood there trying to figure out where he went wrong, he overheard a voice that he recognized on the other side of the hay.

"Oh, Sook, please just stay out of it."

"No, I stayed out of it when I knew you were going down a disastrous path with Christopher, and I'm not going to stay out of it anymore. You and Luke have made amends, right?"

Luke stood still, listening, feet cemented to the ground. He knew it was wrong to listen in on their conversation, but once he heard his name, his legs would not obey his command to move. He was sure the people passing by were wondering what the hell a man was doing standing in a secluded area of the maze, ear inclined toward the hay. He wasn't so sure himself, but he was too curious about what Lorelai was going to say to move.

"Yes, Sookie, we've talked about this before. Several times, in fact."

"Why won't you go back to the diner, then? I mean, if you and Luke have cleared the air, you both can go back to being friends, can't you?"

"Friends, yeah, maybe. I mean, we are friends of sorts. But I can't go back to the diner."

Luke moved closer to the hay, so that he could hear every word.

"Why not? I don't understand."

"It's too painful," she said, her voice trembling. "Months ago I ran into Luke at the grocery store, and he said that I could go back to being Lorelai Gilmore, and he would go back to being the man that poured my coffee."

"Yeah, so?"

"Don't you get it, Sook? I don't want to go back and become just the customer that Luke used to date. That would mean he was right - that he's just the guy who pours my coffee. He will never be that to me," Lorelai admitted, sniffling.

"Aww, hon. I'm sorry I pushed. It's okay," Sookie said, her voice fading off as they moved away.

Luke remained in place, trying to wrap his mind around what Lorelai had revealed. His first instinct was that he needed to fix this, because that was what he did. He fixed things. But he wasn't sure if it was even possible in this circumstance.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Many thanks to everyone who read and reviewed! I appreciate the feedback so much, but I also appreciate people reading.

Since I can't respond to the guest reviewers, I wanted to say a special thank you in my author notes. Thank you, guests! I too miss BWR. I don't think it's sad that an old fic from BWR makes your day. I think it's great!

Again, thanks to everyone and especially my awesome beta, Jewels, and the SCPP!

xxxxxx

The bell signaled the departure of the last straggling tourist as he finally left the diner. Luke quickly walked over to the door, and with a flick of his wrist, the lock clicked into place. After flipping the sign to closed, he slid into the nearest chair, exhausted from the busy day. He had sent the crew home and April had gone upstairs an hour ago, so he was all alone. As he stared at the wall of hay outside the window, his mind drifted back to the conversation he overheard in the maze.

All day, he had pushed thoughts of what Lorelai said to the back of his mind. He was too busy to think about it. But now in the silence of the diner, her words flooded his brain. Questions of how he felt about her words, and what he was going to do to fix the situation, fired like a machine gun in his mind. Hearing his words come from her mouth, filled him with remorse. Words said out of spite and defeat were now coming back to bite him in the ass.

He hated how much his words affected her. The thing that stood out to Luke the most, when he overheard her conversation with Sookie, was that he didn't realize how much she had really and truly cared about him. He couldn't see it anymore. He knew she had loved him, but when the whole Christopher mess happened, he questioned her every motive. He questioned everything that they had ever meant to each other. After all, how could you get over someone that you claim to have loved so quickly?

One thing was crystal clear. He knew he had to deal with his own feelings for Lorelai. Those same feelings he had repressed since he first saw the wedding band on her finger. He knew then that he had to smother them, because that ring signified that it was over for them. Permanently over. Up until that point, there was a glimmer of hope left in his heart. The hope was so small, that he didn't realize it was there, until that very moment in the hospital when she came to check on April. When he saw the ring, it cut deep.

As he got up from the chair and went to clean the coffee pot, he remembered the pain he felt in the months following April's surgery. The torture of seeing Lorelai and Christopher walking around town, holding hands and laughing. He had thought the anguish from finding out she had slept with that man would be worse than any other kind of pain, but he was wrong. The agony of seeing the woman he had finally won, the one who should have been his forever, married to someone else, was far worse. Especially after coming to the realization of his part in the demise of their relationship. It should have been him and Lorelai married. It should have been them, walking around town. He had wanted it to be them accepting the crazy 'welcome wagon' gifts.

The day that East Side Tilly came through the diner like a tornado, proclaiming that Lorelai and Christopher called it quits, and the man was moving out of her house, that glimmer of hope returned. This hope was summoned by the suppressed love he had for her. A love that couldn't be shaken loose.

At that time, he knew that he wouldn't be acting on his feelings. Not then. Maybe never. Even though he knew Liz was right when she said he was lonely. More specifically, he was lonely for Lorelai. But the risk to his heart was too great, and her marriage ending was too new, so he decided to do nothing. Until now. He needed to fix the damage, and in the process, reclaim something precious that was lost in the folly. The words she said in the maze revealed something to him. She still had feelings for him. The depth of her feelings was yet to be seen, but he was going to find out.

Now, he just had to figure out how he was going to get Lorelai back in the diner and back in his life. From what she said, he knew that she wouldn't return unless something changed in their relationship. But he was sure that the friendship they had shared for years was still there, buried under a load of mistakes. He was certain of this fact, because even when they weren't really talking, they were still there for each other during the hard times; through hospital visits, and custody hearings.

The letter she wrote for the custody case was above and beyond what he had expected. As he listened to the judge read that letter, his body visibly relaxed. He asked Lorelai to write it because she knew him best, but a small part of him was worried about what she would say, since they never really cleared the air. He now knew that he shouldn't have doubted her.

xxxxxx

Lorelai shuffled around the house on her forced day off, grumbling at Sookie under her breath. The last place she wanted to be right now was home. She needed to keep busy. If she didn't have something to occupy her mind, her thoughts would go to Luke. And the Luke thoughts caused her to be emotional and wistful. God, she didn't want to be wistful.

The fact of the matter was that she missed him. She thought by getting rid of all his stuff, and the things that were significant in their relationship, she would be able to move on. But she didn't take into account that every inch of her house reminded her of him.

She still couldn't believe she thought that moving another man into the Crap Shack would cleanse the house of the memories of Luke. The plan was an epic fail. All the rooms had a piece of him, including the exterior and the garage. No wonder Christopher felt haunted by Luke's presence. Luke was everywhere, and she wasn't willing to give up the house, the town, nor the memories, even to save her marriage.

Lorelai was snapped from her reverie by the ringing phone. She walked in the direction of the muffled ring, searching under pillows, tossing magazines off the coffee table in vain. Finally, she spotted the antenna sticking out from under the throw. Breathless, she answered, "Hello?"

"Hi, hon. I'm just checking in. Are you enjoying your day off?"

"Sook, you made me take this day off," Lorelai said, disgruntled.

"Yeah, I know. I'm just worried about you."

"You don't have to worry about me. I'm fine. Really."

"Are you saying that to convince me, or are you trying to convince yourself?"

"Maybe a little of both," Lorelai said, sighing. "I _need_ to be fine, Sook. As much as I'd like to, I can't change the past. I need to move on with my life. I need to… to figure out who I am again."

"What about Luke?"

"What about him? I haven't spoken to him since our talk. And I don't expect to speak to him. I doubt he wants to be a part of my life, anyway."

"How do you know if you don't have contact with him?" Sookie pushed.

"Hey, contact is a two-way street. If he wanted anything to do with me, he could make contact too. Have I heard from him at all? No, and it will probably stay that way. It's done. I have to just get past this."

"You don't honestly believe it's done, do you? You and Luke were meant to be."

Lorelai could see the hopeful expression on her friend's face. She hated to put a damper on Sookie's desires to see her happy again. Happy with Luke.

"I can't do this, Sookie.," she said, her voice cracking. "Uh... I'll talk to you later. I think I'll head over to Lane's and visit the twins, or something."

"Oh, hon. Don't be mad," Sookie pleaded.

"I'm not mad. I just need to get out of the house. I'll be fine, I promise."

"Okay, tell Lane I say hi, and give the twins a kiss for me."

"Will do. Bye." Lorelai pushed the 'end call' button and fell back against the sofa in exhaustion.

xxxxx

On the way back from the store, Luke saw a familiar Jeep parked on the side of the road with the hazard lights blinking. He pulled in front of the vehicle and parked. Swinging the door open, he stepped out of the truck, quickly making his way toward the frowning brunette. He knocked on the Jeep's door to get her attention, which thankfully caused her to jerk her head up in surprise, saving it from bashing into the steering wheel for the tenth consecutive time. 

She quickly unzipped the window with one hand, clutching her chest with the other. "Luke, you scared the hell out of me. What are you doing here? I was expecting Gypsy with the tow truck."

Amused by her theatrics, he answered, "I was driving by and saw the Jeep. I thought I'd check to see if everything was all right before I drove on. It's a good thing I did, too. If you banged your head one more time, I'm sure you would have knocked even more screws loose."

"Does it look like I'm in the mood for jokes?" she asked, frowning dramatically.

Trying to temper the grin that threatened to emerge, he questioned, "So, what happened?"

"I was driving along, minding my own business, and Ethel here started making this chook-chook noise. Naturally, I pulled over, and she died. I can't get her to start again."

"Ethel?" he asked with disgust.

"Yes, Ethel. How long have you known me? You should know by now that I name almost everything."

"Yeah, but I've never heard you refer to the Jeep with a name. I think I would have remembered," he said, looking at her pointedly.

She looked down at the steering wheel. "Yeah, well, you seemed to have forgotten a lot there at the end, so I wouldn't have been surprised if such an insignificant thing fell from your mind," she mumbled.

He reached his hand through the open window, placing his fingers under her chin and easing her head to face him once again. She continued to look down. "Look at me, Lorelai," he said gently, keeping his fingers on her soft skin. After a few seconds, she looked into his eyes. "You're not easy to forget."

Before she could digest what he said, or even answer him, the roaring sound of a truck engine interrupted them. Luke dropped his hand to his side, flexing his fingers into a fist, attempting to retain the heat from her skin. They both turned to look at the tow truck.

Gypsy walked toward them in her trademark overalls, smirking. She had caught their little moment.

"So, what did you do to her this time?"

"Just what are you implying, Gypsy?" Lorelai asked, opening the door and stepping out of the Jeep.

"I'm not implying anything. I'm saying plainly that you're car stupid, which means more money for me, so I'm not complaining. Pop the hood," Gypsy ordered.

Lorelai pulled the lever to release the hood and watched Gypsy do her business. Luke followed Gypsy around, looking over her shoulder.

Clearly exasperated by Luke's presence, Gypsy barked, "Do you mind? I can't work with you standing so close."

"Fine." Luke backed away from her and returned next to Lorelai.

"Luke, you don't have to wait," Lorelai said.

"I want to," he insisted.

Luke noticed Lorelai wasn't arguing. She probably realized that if nothing else, his being there would deter the mechanic from robbing her blind.

The hood crashed closed. "Yeah, she's dead as a door nail. I'm going to take her in. Hop into the truck, and I'll give you a ride back," Gypsy said, wiping her greasy hands on her pant legs.

"No, I'm going to give her a ride," Luke blurted.

Both Lorelai and Gypsy looked at him in shock.

Gypsy mumbled something about not standing around waiting for the sparks to fly, romantically, or otherwise. She attached the Jeep to the back of her truck, and sped off for the shop. With Gypsy's shuttle service long gone, Luke watched Lorelai as she clearly was wrestling with her decision over whether to accept his ride or not.

"You don't want to walk home in _those_ heels," he commented, eyeing her three-inch stilettos skeptically.

She arched her eyebrow at him, as he stalked over to where she stood.

"I won't bite, Lorelai." He whispered into her ear.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Thank you to all the readers and reviewers! Many thanks to my guest reviewers from chapter 3, Nancy and JavaJunkie86, that I cannot PM. I appreciate everyone taking the time to review. It makes me giddy.

I have a question for all of you fabulous people. My beta has ordered smut for the ending, and her wish is my command. My question is this; Is anyone reading my story offended by the smut? If it's a problem, I could tie this story up with them moderately clothed, and write a separate one-shot with the smut. If no one cares, I could smut it up in the final chapter. Let me know by review, PM, smoke signal or carrier pigeon. Thanks so much!

Again, many much thanks to my beta, Jewels. She's the awesomiest! And Mags. Mags is awesome, too. Oh, and lulu, and…

Xxxxxx

Luke carefully put his hand on Lorelai's lower back, gently propelling her toward the passenger side of the truck. He opened the door, and she turned her head to look at him.

"Why?"

"Why what?" he deflected.

"Why did you insist on giving me a ride? Gypsy would have given me a ride, and I could have been out of your hair. I'm sure you have better things to do. You were coming from someplace, on your way somewhere," she reasoned.

Luke shrugged his shoulders. "I wanted to give you a ride."

"But why?" she urged.

"Does it matter?"

"Yes. Yes, it matters."

"Why?" he asked, turning the question back to her.

"I just need to know," she insisted. "I don't want a pity ride."

"It's not a pity ride. Get in."

"Then what is it?"

"I want to talk to you, Lorelai. Is that so wrong?"

Lorelai visibly swallowed the lump that formed in her throat and whispered, "No, that's not wrong." She stepped up into the truck, sliding onto the bench seat. "I just don't understand why."

He almost didn't catch her last comment, since it was barely audible, so he chose to ignore what she said for the moment.

Luke slammed the door and walked over to his side, climbing in behind the steering wheel. "So, where are we going?" he asked, turning toward her in his seat.

"Uh, I guess you can just take me home. I have to wait until Gypsy calls to know what's going on with the car." Lorelai's eyes darted around the truck, avoiding looking directly at Luke.

"Sure. Do you need a bite to eat? We can run by the diner, and I can make you a burger," he offered, as he pulled out onto the road.

"No, no. That's okay. I can scrounge up something at home. Really, it's fine," she said, her voice slightly shaky.

"Lorelai, It's just a burger," he stated, trying to get her to talk to him. He wanted to hear firsthand why she wouldn't go to the diner.

"It's not 'just a burger,' Luke. It's so much more than that," she said, exasperated.

"Please explain that to me," he implored.

"I... I can't."

"Yes, you can," he said, confidently. "I've heard you explain your crazy logic about many things, so I know you can explain why you won't come to the diner. You don't even want a cup of coffee? I'm trying to be your friend here, Lorelai."

"That's just it, Luke. I'm having a hard time going back to that. God, this is so hard," she sighed, hanging her head and biting her lower lip. "If I go back to the diner, it erases everything we ever shared together. You said that I could go back to being Lorelai Gilmore, and you would go back to being just the guy who poured my coffee. Maybe that's what you want. Maybe you do want to erase everything else," she added bitterly.

"That's not what I want."

"You were never just that guy to me, Luke," she said adamantly. When he turned to look at her, she shook her head, her voice softening as she said, "And I don't know who Lorelai Gilmore is anymore."

"I didn't mean what I said. I said a lot of stupid things. Especially that day in the street. I was hurting, Lorelai. I lashed out because you were there, and I could. It doesn't mean what I said was true."

Tears brimmed in her eyes, and as she turned to look at him, a couple slipped free. Luke pulled over to the side of the road and reached for her, wiping the errant tears with the pad of his thumb. "I hate to see you cry."

Sniffling, she moved her head away from his hand, swiping at her tears with her palms. "God, I hate this. I have never cried this much in my entire life. Not even when I was still under the oppressive thumbs of Richard and Emily Gilmore. You'd think I wouldn't have a tear left."

He felt around in his pockets for a tissue, to no avail, so he began looking in the glove compartment, under the seats, and on the dashboard for anything that would be useful to wipe a nose. With a sigh, he said, "I'm not prepared for crying today... or any day, for that matter."

Lorelai giggled, and the sound seemed to surprise her as much as it did him. Luke smiled, hearing the once familiar sound escape from Lorelai, and he wondered when she had laughed last.

"I'm sorry. I know you're not fond of the crying. I just can't seem to help it these days. It's ridiculous."

"So, home is where you want to go?" he asked, returning behind the steering wheel, shifting back into gear and directing the truck back onto the road.

"Yeah, I suppose. I can't go to the Dragonfly, since this is my day off. But I don't really want to go home, either. It's too quiet at home, and then I start thinking, and thinking leads to crying, and I'm tired of both of those things. So, I'm not sure," she babbled.

"How about lunch?" Luke saw that she was about to object and quickly said, "Not at the diner. How about at that little sidewalk cafe in Woodbridge? I've been there with April. It has decent food. Don't know about the coffee, though, since I don't drink the sludge."

"Sure, I think I'd like that," she said with a tremulous smile. As Luke pulled onto the road again, Lorelai asked, "How's April doing? Is she settled into her new school?"

"She's doing well. At first she wasn't crazy about the move, but now that she has made some friends, I think she likes it. She's involved with stuff and happier than she was. That's all I can really ask for, you know? I miss her like crazy, though."

"I bet. I'm glad she's happy."

"She asks about you. She still talks about that fabulous birthday party."

"Yeah?"

Luke nodded his head. "Yeah. She asked where you were, and when she could hang out with you again. I had to explain to her that we had broken up."

"Oh."

"Yeah, so she blamed herself at first, and then she blamed Anna, because Anna said it was good that you were out of my life. April came to me upset, so I talked to Anna, and what Anna said to you after April's party came out, which caused World War III."

"Wow, Luke. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have gone to Anna in the first place."

"You had every right to. I never should have told you otherwise. I just can't believe she said that to you."

"Yeah, well. I get it. She was feeling threatened. I know the feeling," Lorelai admitted.

"Yes, but you didn't lash out like that. She was out of line, and I told her so."

"I was glad you went after custody. You've changed a lot," she observed.

"How so?"

"You're more talkative and more open, like parenting has made you more confident in some ways."

"I guess that's a good thing."

"Mhmm."

Luke and Lorelai lapsed into companionable silence. Each absorbed by their own thoughts.

Luke kept thinking about how well the talking was going. He was amazed that she was being so open with him, and that she agreed to eat lunch with him. He knew that he needed to start off slowly, ease himself into her life again. Spooking her was the last thing he wanted to do. He didn't want her to run. _Chasing her might be fun, though, _he thought with a smirk_._ And he _would_ be chasing her, because he wasn't going to let her go this time.

xxxxxx

Lorelai wondered why she had been so scared to talk to Luke. Once they started, she was thrilled that words came spilling out. He was Luke, after all. Their banter used to come so easily. Although, they were in a different place then. When they were together, there was still banter, but there were also more serious discussions as well. That is, until they both started bottling it all up. The serious discussions were put on the back burner, and the banter was non-existent. She had missed it. She still missed it. She looked over at Luke and thought, _This is nice. This feels nice. I can't let myself get too hopeful, though. Luke is just being friendly. Nothing more. Friendship is good. Hell, any kind of contact is good. _Taking a deep breath, she relaxed against the headrest, pondering the events of the day.

Luke pulled into a parking space near the cafe. He jumped out of the truck, hurrying to the other side in order to open Lorelai's door. But she was too quick for him, and was shutting the door as he showed up by her side. A little disappointed by her show of independence, Luke told himself, _This is not a date. _ _You don't want to scare her by acting like it is, either._ But a part of him wanted it to be a date.

Luke silently gestured for her to go ahead of him, and he followed her to the restaurant. Lorelai stayed several steps in front of him, frightened that he would touch her again. She wasn't prepared for the onslaught of emotions and fire that his touch ignited earlier, and she wasn't willing to allow that rush of feelings again. At least not right now.

They placed their orders inside, Lorelai making sure that she paid for her own food, Luke quietly fuming because she wouldn't permit him to be a gentleman. Taking their order numbers, they went outside and found a shady table in a more secluded section. After placing the numbers on the table for the server to see, Luke attempted to help her get seated but she moved to a chair on the other side of the table, prompting Luke to sit down in the one he had pulled out.

Luke grumbled to himself about feminism, and Lorelai, unsure of herself, glanced at everything and anything but him.

Breaking the awkward silence that descended upon them, Luke asked, "So, how is the inn? Has it been really busy?"

"Yeah, it's been pretty full. We're starting to host more events, which is great for word of mouth publicity. I've put in a lot of long hours, but I enjoy it. It keeps my mind off of things."

Figuring that her divorce was one of the things that she was trying to keep her mind off of, Luke decided to be the bigger man and offer his sympathy for the collapse of her marriage. "Yeah, it's not easy going through a divorce. It's good to keep busy."

Lorelai played with the condiments on the table, thinking about what she should tell him. She couldn't just come out and say that it was him she was trying to get over, not her marriage. "It's not really my divorce I'm trying to keep my mind off of. Yeah, it wasn't an easy decision to end it, but I knew it was a mistake, Chris knew it was a mistake. No matter how much I wanted it to succeed, I knew it couldn't. My heart wasn't in it."

"Why did you do it?" Luke asked, afraid of the answer, but needing to know, anyway.

Taken aback by the question, Lorelai wondered what he was really asking. Did he want to know why she went to Chris that night, or why she married him? Either way, there was no simple answer. "I... I had a lot of crazy reasons that seemed to make sense at the time." _There_, she thought. _That vaguely answered both questions at once. _

"That's as clear as mud," Luke grumbled.

"So was your question."

"Why did you go to him that night? I kinda get why you married him. You said you thought it was your last chance at happiness. I was in that same position, so I get that. I just can't wrap my brain around why you went to Chris," he choked out that name with obvious disgust. "Wasn't there someone else you could have gone to? I just don't get it. You told me over and over that there was nothing between you two, but then you went to _him_." He was surprised by the amount of anger he still held.

She felt like she needed to explain her frame of mind that night. "Chris was at my parents' house that night for Friday night dinner. They were trying to set him up with a psychologist. You know, for a date. Well, after we all left the house, she was outside, waiting for me to move my Jeep. She ended up giving me a therapy session in my parents' driveway. There were things she said that caused me to make that awful decision to give you the ultimatum. So, when you let me walk away, I knew that I had to go somewhere, do something. I couldn't stay in my house. You were there. Maybe not in person, but you're everywhere in that house. Rory was having a party for Logan, because he was leaving for London. I couldn't go there. Everyone else was busy, and since I saw Chris that night, he came to mind."

Luke shook his head. He leaned over the table to get closer to her and quietly asked, "Did you go there with the intention of sleeping with him?"

"No. No, Luke," she assured him. "I just needed to be with someone. I was distraught. I felt rejected by the man that was supposed to love me. And maybe Chris did take advantage of me that night, but I let him, because I needed to feel. I wanted to feel anything but hurt and pain. I was in so much pain, Luke."

Luke handed her a napkin to dry her tears. He instantly felt bad for causing all that pain to resurface for both of them. "I'm sorry, Lorelai."

Their food was brought out, and the conversation was put on the backburner for the duration of the meal.

xxxxx

Luke pulled into Lorelai's driveway and parked. She opened the door to step out and said, "Thanks for the ride and taking me to lunch."

"Sure. Let me know if you need any help," he said, hoping she would take him up on the offer, but knowing it was a long shot.

She smiled at him before shutting the door. He watched as she walked up the steps and let herself into the house. He looked around at her house, the house that should have been his too, seeing little things that were falling apart and needed fixing. One of the porch rails appeared to be crooked. The whole porch needed a new coat of paint. He was sure that her gutters needed a good cleaning, since there were leaves and twigs sticking out of the top. He saw loose shingles on the roof. So many things that he would be able to fix easily. _Obviously, asshat wasn't very useful_, he thought, smiling slightly to himself. _That's good. Very good for me. I'll be back to take care of some things whether she asks for help or not. _


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed! I so appreciate it!

One chapter to go! And I will be upping the rating to M for next chapter, so be aware.

Thank you, Jewels! You're amazing. Really. My life would suck without you.

xxxxxx

Sitting back on his heals, Luke observed his handy work. It looked solid and straight. He slid the hammer back into the slot on his tool belt and grabbed the level, holding it up to make sure everything was perfectly lined up. Setting the tool down, he pushed and pulled on the porch rail to make sure it wouldn't budge. When he was satisfied that it was tight, he stood up and wiped his hands on his jeans. He walked to the bench and picked up his water bottle, unscrewed the cap, and took a long drink. He replaced the cap and gazed around Lorelai's yard, his eyes drifting across the freshly mowed grass, and finally, coming to rest on the chuppah. He descended the porch, moving toward the arch that he made with his own hands. His hands glided over the carvings, lingering on Gilbert the goat.

He could vividly recall the day he gave that to her. That day, they shared one of their many moments. A moment that he later questioned, evaluated, and dissected, filing it away with all the other moments. He made the chuppah for her, because he cared about her and wanted to see her happy. Which was the same motivation that brought him to her house today. Years later, his desire to see her happy was as strong or stronger than that moment when he looked into her eyes, and noticed the sadness and the lack of excitement over her upcoming marriage. He thought that maybe she was just scared, because surely Max did, and would make her happy. It was different now, since he knew he was the only man that could make her really and truly happy.

Luke enjoyed all the time he had been able to spend with her lately. He was surprised when she called to ask for his help in finding a new car. Apparently, Gypsy said that the engine in her Jeep was dead, and could not be resurrected. Lorelai had to quickly find something to replace it. So, they went to visit several dealerships, and she couldn't decide on anything, because it didn't give her the right 'feeling'. He became aggravated with her, and they argued. He smiled thinking about the argument. It had never felt so good to bicker with someone before. It felt right. It felt normal. He could tell she was pleased by it as well, from the quirky little side grin on her face

After they returned home, he was determined to find her Jeep. He bribed Kirk with food that was cut in funny shapes in order to do an internet search on Kirk's laptop. Luke combed through online ads, stumbling upon the correct make and model. Excited about his discovery, he hurried to her house, and knocked on her door to give her the information. When she answered the door in her sweatpants and t-shirt, he was blown away by her beauty. Even in her low-key attire, she was clearly the most beautiful woman that he had ever laid eyes on. He stumbled over his words, telling her of his find. She told him that she would think about it. Ultimately, she decided to go with a newer Jeep. She said it signified the start of her new life. He wanted to be a part of that new life.

Luke needed to get back to work. The last thing he wanted to get accomplished today was painting the porch, and it had to be dry before Lorelai arrived home from work. Part of him wished that he would be at the Crap Shack when she drove up. But he wasn't completely sure how she would react. He was pretty confident that she would know it was him that did the work anyway.

xxxxx

Exhausted, Lorelai drove home from the Dragonfly. It had been a long day of dealing with hard to please guests, and trying to convince a very lazy concierge to work. In the midst of the normal inn activities, they were planning the very first wedding. While the wedding was a great opportunity for the inn to bring in more business, she was reminded frequently as she planned, that she was alone, that she failed at a marriage, and that she lost the only man she had ever truly loved.

Her mind would not allow her a moments rest from the coulda, woulda, shoulda thoughts that plagued her. Frustration with herself was mounting, especially with Rory and Sookie constantly asking how she was doing. She couldn't take their pity any longer. She wasn't used to people being privy to her disappointments. She was always good at keeping them hidden. Until now. Unfortunately, the devastation was seen by all. Because of that, she felt the pain all the more.

"Ugh!" she yelled into the empty vehicle, banging her fist against the steering wheel, and shaking her head to clear all the depressing thoughts that circulated her mind. _I need to stop thinking like this. I'm better than this. I can't change the past. All I can do is move forward, and that's what I'm going to do._

Pulling into her driveway, she parked the car and started to climb out. She studied the exterior of her house, noticing something appeared different from when she had left this morning. She walked toward the house, eyeing it suspiciously; the white of the porch seemed to be brighter; the crooked rail seemed to have righted itself; the lawn grew shorter. _What in the world?_ she wondered, investigating the premises. Someone had fixed many of the neglected items around the house. The only someone that could be was... "Luke."

Lorelai turned on her heels, heading toward the last place she wanted to go. She made it into town in record time, silently fuming the whole way. But when she arrived in front of the establishment that held a lot of fond memories for her and Rory, she couldn't go inside. So, she paced, arms securely wrapped around herself, and rehearsed what she was going to say to Luke when he came out of the diner. She knew he was watching her walk back and forth in front of the window. She caught his eye and glared at him several times when she glanced inside. She saw that smug look he gave her. He knew why she was there.

Finally, she heard the tinkle of the bells alerting her to someone's presence. Even though her back was to him, she knew it was Luke. She whipped around, fully intending to give him a piece of her mind, but stopped short when she saw _the hat_. There before her on the sidewalk, was Luke with the blue hat atop his head. That hat had been missing since they broke up. In its place, he had worn a hideous black hat that didn't compliment him at all.

"Hey," Luke said, smirking.

"Uh... what?" she asked, dragging her eyes from the top of his head, but they somehow found their way back.

"I said, hey," he repeated.

"Oh. Uh, hey."

"What's going on, Lorelai?"

"Well, I, um..." she stammered, wringing her hands. She turned her back to him in an attempt to pull her focus away from the hat and collect her thoughts. _What does it mean?_ she questioned herself. _First, he was fixing things, and now he's wearing old blue. What's going on?_ A part of her was demanding to know what he was thinking, but another part of her surged with hope. She took a deep breath, spinning back around. She looked him straight in the eyes. "What do you think you're doing?"

"I'm standing here, wondering the same thing about you."

"The repairs at my house. It has your name written all over it. Why did you do that?"

Luke shrugged. "I saw some things that needed to be fixed, so I fixed them."

"No, you can't just do that, Luke. You can't waltz back into my life like nothing happened, and fix things again, or put that stupid blue hat back on like everything is back to normal. I can't just pretend like everything is okay," she expressed vehemently.

"I'm done pretending."

"What do you want from me, Luke?" she asked, wearily.

"I _want_ to fix your porch rail, and I _want_ you to come back into the diner."

"I can't do that. Why are you pushing this subject?"

"Because you are more than just Lorelai Gilmore to me," he said, lightly grabbing her upper arms in his hands. "And I know I'm more to you than just the man that pours your coffee. I'm done pretending that I don't still want to be with you. When I said you were it for me, I meant it. Even with everything that has happened, it's still true." Seeing the fear in her eyes, he released her, trailing his hands down her arms. She shivered in response to his touch. He took a step closer, leaning down to her ear and whispering, "I'm all in, Lorelai. We still have stuff to talk about, but I don't want it to keep us from being together. Please come back."

She put some distance between them before her body could react anymore to their closeness, and warily looked into his eyes, desiring to see the accuracy of his words. Her face softened at the obvious hope and truth she saw reflected back at her. "I'll think about it," she said softly as she backed away. Their eyes held for several seconds before Lorelai turned to walk home.

Luke sighed and swung around to the diner, groaning at the scene before him. All of the busybodies had their noses pressed against the glass.

"Jeez, these people are nuts," he grumbled, pushing the door open. The bells loudly protested as he shoved the door closed. The customers stared at Luke while he stomped over to the counter. He stared them down. "What are you looking at?" he asked. Everyone quickly resumed eating their meals.

xxxxx

"Okay... you can do this, Lorelai. It will be all right. It will be awkward at first, but that's okay, because that means eventually it will feel normal. And normal is good. Whatever normal is," Lorelai babbled. She stood in front of her full-length mirror, giving herself a pep talk. She was going to walk into the diner for the first time since that horrible night almost a year ago. "I need to go. Like five minutes ago." But she didn't budge. She remained rooted in front of her reflection, staring into her face, searching out answers to the questions she wasn't sure about. Not finding what she was looking for, she finally decided that it was now or never; do or die.

Grabbing her purse, Lorelai walked slowly down the stairs, as if she were walking to her doom instead of to the place that had been her solace in times past. The place with the best coffee. The place that was owned by the man she loved. She made it out the door, stopping to admire the new coat of paint on the porch. It was a reminder of Luke, and that he still cared, which was mind boggling to her.

xxxxx

Luke knew Lorelai was outside of the diner before he saw her. The room was buzzing with chatter and speculation of whether or not she would enter the establishment. When he overheard Kirk making a bet with Reverend Skinner, he lost it. He banged the coffee pot against the counter, garnering the attention of every nosy person in the place.

"If she comes in here, and you embarrass her, or me for that matter, you will not be eating here for the next decade. You all will be banned," Luke stated firmly, pointing to each person in the room. "Do you understand me?" Everyone in the room vigorously shook their heads in the affirmative except for Kirk. Luke walked up to him and slapped him on the head. "You understand me, right, Kirk?" Kirk quickly nodded.

Luke stood behind the counter, wiping the imaginary spot, while frequently sneaking peeks at Lorelai's location. He noticed that she was getting closer to the door. Finally, he heard that tinkle of the bells, announcing her entrance. Looking up briefly, he made eye contact with her. He could see fear in the depths of her blue orbs which made him want to protect her, and make this as painless for her as possible. He wanted her to come back again. Shockingly, all the patrons were minding their own business as Lorelai wound her way through the tables, making her trek toward him. Turning around, he busied himself with pouring her a cup of coffee while she sat down on a stool.

Luke was trying to hide the smile that wanted to appear full-fledged. He felt like he needed to temper his happiness in order to keep her from fleeing, but for the first time in a long time, his heart soared. _She's here._ _It must mean something._ This could be it for them.

Luke set the coffee in front of Lorelai. She remained still, watching the steam rise from the hot liquid. He held his breath, waiting for some response from her. After what seemed like a lifetime, her eyes followed the trail of steam until they met his own. There was mischievousness hidden in the depths of her blue eyes, something he used to see often.

Without looking down, she grasped the warm cup in her hands, moving it up to her lips and taking a sip. As soon as the brew touched her tongue, she closed her eyes, moaning loudly in ecstasy.

Everyone in the diner stopped all chatter and motion to turn their attention to Lorelai. The clatter of a plate falling woke her out of her coffee-induced trance. She looked around the room, blushing from the scene she caused. Instead of retreating like Luke was afraid she would do, she exclaimed to the entire diner, "What? Haven't you ever seen a woman have a foodgasm?"

Patty chuckled, raising her own mug in salute to Lorelai. "Good to have you back, sweetheart."

xxxxx

Lorelai woke from a pleasant dream, stretching her arms above her head. She was lying there, trying to distinguish between fantasy and reality. The dream was a lot like the one she had years ago. In that dream, she was married to Luke and pregnant with twins. And though that dream had felt real, this one seemed even more believable.

In this dream, she and Luke were happily married, sitting in rockers on the porch of an old farmhouse, watching their two kids running in the yard. Luke's hand rested on her protruding belly as they discussed baby names. She remembered feeling at peace, which was something she hadn't felt in quite a while, and the peaceful feeling carried over to her awakened state. She laid there for a while basking in that feeling.

Once reality fully set in, she slipped out of bed. Thoughts of the last couple weeks filtered through her brain. She had gone to the diner several times since her first venture in. She was relieved to find that it became easier with every visit. The banter between her and Luke returned, much to the delight of the townies. Her visits to Luke's varied in day and meal. She kept him guessing about when she would appear at all times, and she always noticed his relieved expression once he spotted her. When the relief passed, he would pick up on his grumbling about her eating habits. It felt so right and normal.

Lorelai was happy about the friendship aspect of their relationship returning, but she yearned for more. She heard Luke's words echo in her brain quite often. He wanted her back in his life as more than a friend, but something held her back. He was waiting for her move, and he was being very patient. Maybe she needed to do something now. She didn't want him to have to wait forever, and she was aware of how much she missed him.

Lorelai grabbed her jacket from the chair, and hurried down the stairs. She went out the door, leaving it ajar. Barefoot, she walked gingerly on the driveway to the garage. Swinging the doors wide open, she moved junk around, looking for something in particular. Spotting a stack of boxes labeled 'Rory's books', she opened one and pulled out a pillow. She held it tight against her chest, burying her nose in it, trying to breathe in the lingering smell of the man who once used it. The mere scent of that man made her heart race. Sometimes in the middle of the night, when she couldn't sleep, she would come out to the garage and smell Luke's pillow. In a way it helped calm the turmoil in her soul.

Lorelai hid her 'Luke' boxes in the garage, labeled as Rory's. She knew that way Chris would not be too nosy. Thankfully, Chris never questioned the boxes because she didn't want to fight with him, nor was she ready to get rid of them. Although, in hindsight, it was another nail in the coffin of her doomed marriage.

Taking another sniff of the pillow, she made a decision. She needed to talk to Luke, and she needed to right away.

xxxxx

Lorelai entered the diner like a woman on a mission. She hurried behind the counter, grabbing the cuff of Luke's shirt.

"We need to talk," she said, pulling Luke behind her, through the curtains and up the steps.

She paused beside the door to his apartment, waiting not so patiently for him to unlock and allow her entrance.

Lorelai walked to the kitchen table, pacing beside it. Luke had followed her in, and stood watching, waiting for her to say what was on her mind.

"How do I know?" she asked.

"How do you know what?" he returned.

"How do I know that you won't keep secrets from me again? How do I know that you _will _be all in?"

"You can't know these things for sure, Lorelai. You just have to trust me, trust us," he said, cautiously approaching her.

She stopped pacing and watched him. When he stood in front of her, she stared into his eyes and asked, "Can I trust you, Luke? And can you ever trust me again?"

He took another step closer. "I'm not concerned about trusting you. And as far as trusting me, you have to decide that for yourself. But if we do this thing again, there will be no going back. You're mine, and I'm yours. We need to stop fighting it. We belong together."

Luke's hands encircled her waist, bringing her flush against him. Her eyes widened in surprise, much to his delight. She braced her palms against his chest, slightly pushing away.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to kiss you," he stated.

She pushed harder against him, anxious to get away.

He held her firmly. "I'm not letting you go."

"What? You can't just decide that you're going to kiss me. I have a say in it, don't I? What if I don't want to kiss you?"

He arched his eyebrow at her, and said, "Look me in the eyes, and tell me you don't want to kiss me."

"I don't-" Her words were cut off by his lips, and her pulse quickened.

He gently teased her pink lips with his, tasting the strawberry gloss she wore. He remembered how intoxicating kissing her was, and craved more. But he pulled away, and heard a small moan of protest coming from her.

He observed her closed eyes and flushed cheeks, thinking that she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

"Lorelai, what was it you were saying?" he asked, watching as her eyes popped open.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: After five years, here is the final chapter. I really could not have done it without my biggest champions. They will never understand how much their friendships have meant to me over the years. So thankful that this awesome GG fandom brought us together.

Many thanks to all who have read and reviewed. I so appreciate all the kind words. Really and truly. It's not easy putting yourself out there, but you all made it very pleasant. I hope you enjoy the chapter as I hide under the covers while you read. Seriously, I'm nervous.

Thank you Jewels and Mags for your amazing help. It would be crap without you! You both are the wind beneath my wings.

xxxxxx

"Luke." Lorelai spoke his name softly, pushing lightly against his chest with her hands. Touching two fingers to her lips, she gazed up into his eyes. He looked back at her so tenderly, her whole body ached to kiss him again. She did trust Luke. She trusted him more than anyone. They learned from their mistakes, right? They were stronger now. If they jumped into this together again, that would be it. He was it for her, and she would make it work. Whatever it took.

He pulled her flush with his body. "I love you, Lorelai. I never stopped," he whispered against her ear, nuzzling her cheek.

"It's too soon for declarations of love," she breathed out, withholding the moan aching to slip out. His scruff was igniting her skin in glorious ways. His touch brought on a rush of emotions, an explosion of long-repressed sensations. No one ever felt so right. The feel of him against her was wonderfully familiar, and she wanted… no, needed to be connected to him, his body in every way.

"Too soon? We have years already under our belt. We've wasted too much time." His hands journeyed up her back to her neck, weaving into her hair.

"We're… starting over, right? We can't just start where we left off."

"No, I wouldn't want to. We weren't in a good place then, but we're better now."

Hot, wet lips kissed her neck, just below her ear. She moaned, finally, and felt him smile against her skin.

"I'm scared, Luke."

He cupped her cheeks in his palms, tilting her head up to look into his eyes. "I'm scared too, Lorelai, but we have each other. We can be scared together. Do you think you could try this again with me?"

Yes, she saw the fear, but the love and adoration in the depths of his gaze shone brighter. "I want to. _So_ much. I don't know what's holding me back." It was more a question than a statement, as if he held the answers she sought. Maybe he did.

"Would it help if I said I can't lose you again? I'll fight for you. This is it for me_. You're_ it for me. I'm in, Lorelai. All in. Even though I said it before and meant it then, the timing sucked, and I lost myself along the way. We had a lot thrown at us, and we're passed all that now. We've grown. Changed. I think we can handle whatever gets tossed our way. Together," he insisted.

Overcome with his impassioned plea, something broke within her. The dam she'd built to hold back her love for him cracked and relief flooded throughout her body. His words echoed her own thoughts. Everything she'd been thinking, every hope in her heart. They _were_ on the same page. And this was Luke. Her Luke. He _was_ still her Luke Danes. He loved her and wanted to be with her. She would be a fool to give that up.

She placed herself, her life, her future in his hands. She brushed her lips over his, teasing him. Once. Twice. She grinned against his mouth when he growled. Applying pressure, her tongue darted out, tasting his lips. His response was immediate and carnal, as he opened his mouth and tangled his tongue with hers. Her body melted against his, knees turning to jelly. She gripped his biceps, attempting to keep upright. She missed his kisses, the safety of his arms, the scent that was so uniquely Luke. Musky, manly with a hint of coffee and a side of bacon. His tongue alone was making her soar, and she was still fully dressed.

The kiss gentled into a less frantic desire to devour each other. He abandoned her lips in favor of her neck, eliciting moans from Lorelai that would make Miss Patty blush.

"I love touching you. Feeling you."

"Oh, Luke."

He assaulted her skin with his mouth. "Tell me what you want, Lorelai."

"Anything. Everything," she replied, voice breathy. "I want you."

Her nimble fingers had his flannel unbuttoned before he could react. Hands wandered under shirts, touching bare skin. It was exhilarating. She felt alive for the first time in a long time.

"Are you sure? We don't have to rush this."

"Seriously? I think it's a little late for that. We _do_ have years under our belt. Now, I want what's under _your_ belt." She grinned impishly, grinding her hips into him, feeling his very evident arousal. "I don't want to stop. Do you, Luke?"

"Hell-no."

"Then take me to bed." She pushed him backwards, forcing him to lose his grip on her.

"Nuh-uh. Come back here." He clutched her shirt, tugging her back to him. "Bossy woman."

Before she could respond, his mouth was back on hers. Tongues tangling and feet tripping, they made the short journey over to his bed. Somehow during the awkward shuffle, he divested her of her shirt and with one hand flicked open the clasp of her bra. He watched as the straps of her bra slid down her arms, revealing the creamy skin of her breasts.

He traced the lines of her neck down to the rosy peaks of her nipples, to the underside of her breasts, stopping at the top of her jeans. Lorelai exhaled loudly and pulled away.

"My turn." He groaned but didn't try to stop her. "Let me help you with these clothes, Luke." She shoved the flannel down his arms, taking his undershirt up, over his head. Gazing at his defined chest hungrily, she placed her palms against his shoulders, and let them slide down toward his abs. She watched the play of his muscles, rippling under her touch. Her mouth joined the progress her hands made. At the edge of his jeans, she dipped her fingers down, tantalizingly close to his hardness.

Luke removed her hand, "If you continue, it'll be over before it's started."

"We'll will never be over."

Luke shook his head. "No. Never."

He kicked off his shoes and fell over himself to get his jeans removed. "Damn pants," he growled.

Lorelai watched, giggled. "In a hurry?" With Luke's attention on her, she released the button and unzipped her pants, ever-so-slowly shimmying her pants down her long, lean legs.

"If I am, it's your fault."

"My fault?"

He hooked his fingers into the elastic at her waist, and tugged the scrap of lace until it fell from her toes. "Entirely your fault."

As she stood before him naked, he raked his eyes over the endless expanse of skin she displayed.

"You're so beautiful, Lorelai." he whispered reverently as he lowered her gently onto the bed.

She scooted until she felt the pillows, sinking into them. The bed dipped as Luke knelt at the foot of it. His lips skimmed her legs, hips, and breasts as he climbed up to where she lay. The stubble from his chin ignited a path up her body, scorching her skin.

"Luke."

He kissed her mouth thoroughly before his warm, soft lips closed around a nipple, teasing her with his teeth and tongue. Her hands wove his hair, pushing him away and then pulling him back again in this exquisite torture. Her body was ready to combust.

His idle fingers began playing in the curls between her legs. She opened her legs in invitation as his digits skimmed her, entering her folds. Her moans, spurred his exploration.

She loved his hands. Big, talented manly hands. He knew the exact way to touch her to make her purr. Writhing beneath his playful touch, she clutched, pulled at him, and touched as much skin as she could reach. Her body frantic with need.

"Luke, I want you inside me. Please."

"Are you covered?"

"I'm good."

He held himself poised at her entrance, slowly gliding into her heat until her inner muscles enveloped him completely.

"I love you, Luke. So much."

Brushing her hair off her face, he kissed her. "Me too."

Keeping most of his weight on his forearms, he lowered his body on top of hers. Both moaned loudly at the first complete contact of their unclothed bodies after such an agonizing absence. It felt like coming home.

Their eyes met, holding for a long moment, sharing promises and desires through the gaze.

"You feel so good." She wrapped her long legs around his waist, changing the angle. Luke sank even deeper. "God, I thought I'd never have this again. Feel you again. Feel anything."

He began moving slowly, picking up speed when she joined. They established a sensual rhythm. One that only experienced lovers would be able to perform. Their minds and bodies remembered this connection, even if their hearts had forgotten for so long.

"I'm so close."

He groaned. "Good, because I'm not going to last long."

At that, Luke brought his hand between them where they were joined, and tweaked her clit. Her toes curled. Electricity shot throughout her body, like tiny pin pricks, finally causing a blast of light to explode behind her eyelids. Her muscles clenched around Luke, stealing his control, and forcing him to let go. With a grunt, he convulsed and emptied into her as he croaked her name.

Spent, he collapsed on top of her. Lorelai grinned, her fingers trailing up his back, winding through his hair. A contented sigh escaped her lips.

"Wow."

"Uh huh," he agreed. He rolled off her onto his back.

She followed him, cuddling into his side, and tracing the lines of his chest, thankful that everything about his body was still familiar. A lot may have changed about him, but at least his body's response to hers was the same. And he still loved her. Despite the mistakes, in spite of herself, he still loved Lorelai Gilmore.

She lifted up onto her elbow, shifting so she could view his face better. She studied him, trying to read his thoughts, making sure she couldn't see any regrets. "We're here. Finally. Please tell me this isn't a dream."

His nose brushed against hers, and he kissed her again tenderly, smiling against her lips. "Does that feel real?"

"Mhmm."

"What about this?"

"Ow! No pinching my ass."

Luke rubbed the sore area. "Better?"

"Much." Lorelai paused. "So. What happens next?"

"Well, we do this. Together."

"This? We already did 'this', babe."

"Funny girl. I'm aware. And there will be more of this. A lot more." He waggled his eyebrows.

She grinned. She was sure her smile wouldn't be going away for some time. "Do we tell people?" she wondered.

"I think we just let people find out when they find out."

"True. It's not like I'm going to be able to keep my hands off you anyway. Let's just not have a repeat of the last time they found out." Her hands began to wander.

A loud knock at the door, reverberated through the small apartment, startling them. "Luke! Are you in there?" Someone tested the doorknob, and Lorelai squealed when the door flung open. She rolled off the bed, grabbing a blanket before she fell. She wrapped the throw around herself, leaving Luke alone, naked and vulnerable. He quickly grabbed a pillow to cover his lower half.

"I'll be down in a minute!" he yelled, trying to halt the progress of the intruder.

Unfortunately, he was too late. Caesar stood before them, gawking. Lorelai knew it must look comical to him: clothes strewn about; her head peeking over the edge of the bed with sex hair; Luke naked, except for the pillow strategically placed.

Caesar arched his eyebrow.

"We were just talking," Lorelai offered.

"Just talking." Caesar repeated.

She nodded her head, clutching the blanket to her chest. "Yeah, nothing to see here."

"Don't you have work to do?" Luke asked.

"Well, I came to find you, because I'm going on break."

"Fine. I'll be down in a minute."

"Sure, Luke. Whenever you're done 'talking'." Caesar chuckled on his way out the door. "I'm so beating East Side Tilly to the scoop."

Luke and Lorelai looked at each other.

"I think everyone's going to know." Lorelai sighed.

"I bet by the time we get down there, the whole town will be in the diner."

"Crap, I need to tell Rory before someone else gets to her." She hopped up from the floor, gathering her clothes quickly.

Luke watched as she redressed. "Hey, it'll be fine."

She smiled reassuringly at him. "I know. I'm too happy to let anything bother me. As long as they don't have a town meeting about us."

"Good. For the record, I'm happy too," he replied, reaching for Lorelai, pulling her down onto the pillow that covered his lap. He kissed her lightly, and she wound her arms around his neck, playing with the short hairs at the base of his scalp. She sucked on his bottom lip and he moaned.

"As much as I'd like to continue this, I should get dressed before Babette comes in to ogle me. Rain check?"

"Rain check." She punctuated her reply with one last smooch. "Hurry and get dressed, because I'm not going down there to face everyone alone." She slid off Luke, and gathered up his clothes, throwing them in his direction.

"Fine. We'll face the crazies together." Once he was dressed, he held out his hand toward her.

Lorelai wound her fingers through Luke's and beamed at him, nodding her head. "Together."


End file.
